There are weeks (even months) when life feels like a jumble of small but constant demands for working parents. The messages from school, the deadlines at work, the unread WhatsApps, and the endless list of things that all seem urgent. December can be a particularly demanding month. Personally, amongst the usual demands of day to day work and family life, I’m currently supporting my daughter with college applications and mock exams, plus added to the mix are building works that mean we don’t have a kitchen!
At our recent free Overcoming Overwhelm event, one message stood out clearly. The pressure rarely comes from one dramatic moment. It builds quietly, through the accumulation of tiny tasks and expectations, until even simple decisions start to feel heavy.
Overwhelm is not a sign of failure. It is a reminder that something needs to shift, that you may need to pause, breathe, and reflect on what truly matters in this season of life and work.
In this blog, I share a few reflections that have stayed with me about what helps when the juggle feels too much, shaped by insights from our Leaders Plus community and my own learning along the way.
1. Ask for Help, Even When It Feels Easier Not To
It is surprisingly easy to fall into the pattern of doing everything alone. Sometimes it is habit, sometimes guilt, and sometimes the thought that it might just be faster if you do it yourself. It can be hard to ask for help, but you rarely regret it once you do.
The truth is that help only arrives when you ask. That might mean talking openly with your manager about what flexibility would make the biggest difference, or asking your partner to take on something you have quietly carried by default.
You do not need to wait for permission. Clear, honest requests often open doors you did not realise were there.
You might like our Setting Boundaries Workbook for practical ways to start those conversations.
2. Protect Your Red and Golden Boundaries
If you are completely off-limits for work during holidays, school assemblies or pick-ups, those are your red boundaries, the non-negotiables that keep your values visible.
Then there are your golden boundaries, the moments that restore you, such as a morning run, time for a proper lunch, or ten quiet minutes before bed. They are the things that remind you who you are outside of your to-do list. Your golden boundaries can be flexible, these are the ones you protect, much can offer some give and take.
Many Fellows tell us that the structured time built into our Fellowship programmes helps them step back from the day-to-day, reflect deeply, and plan with confidence. Creating that space to think is often what makes it possible to identify their red and golden boundaries.
Try naming your boundaries clearly. It is far easier to protect something once you have named it. And once you do, share them with the people around you. Let your team or family know what you are trying to protect and ask them to help keep you accountable. Boundaries are much easier to maintain when others understand them too.
3. Redefine Self-Care
Self-care is not a reward for getting everything done. It is part of how you keep going. And it is personal to you. I have heard people say that cleaning their house is their self care, it is absolutely not mine! And that is fine, self care is about finding what works for you, not what others tell you you should do.
For me, self-care is less about grand gestures and more about giving myself permission to rest and reset in a way that works at that time – it might be meeting a friend for a drink and a chat, reading a book, watching reality TV, going to the gym, or getting into bed early with a cup of tea. What matters is recognising what I need at that moment.
The trick is to build it into the rhythm of your week rather than squeezing it into the edges.
4. Let Go of Perfection
If you have ever stayed up late playing with an already finished presentation, frantically tidying an already clean house before guests arrive, or rewriting an email 15 times, you will know how perfection can sneak in and take over.
But perfection often steals time from what matters most. The house does not need to be spotless, the packed lunch does not need to be inventive, and the birthday card can be bought instead of made.
Good enough, done with care, is more than enough.
You might also enjoy our podcast episode How to Navigate Leadership While Raising Young Children for more ideas on this.
5. Pause and Regain Perspective
Overwhelm grows when you try to power through it. The better instinct is to pause.
If you ever find yourself staring at a list so long you do not know where to start, step away for a moment. Make a cup of tea, breathe, and ask yourself:
What actually needs to happen today?
What could wait until tomorrow?
What does not need to happen at all?
And if frustration builds, for example when your efforts go unnoticed or you change plans to please others, take that as a cue to speak up. Calm honesty is always more effective than silent resentment.
For tips on handling those moments well, see How to talk to your boss about your workload.6. Be Kind to Yourself
When you are stretched thin, self-criticism can become a default setting. But kindness is far more productive.
You can hold high standards and still be gentle with yourself. The truth is that no one else is keeping score as closely as you are. Being kind to yourself does not mean lowering the bar. It means recognising that you are already doing your best and that rest, too, is part of the work.
If it feels difficult to switch off that inner critic, try this simple shift in perspective. Think of a close friend going through exactly what you are facing now. If they came to you for advice, what would you say? You would probably remind them how hard they are trying, tell them to pause, to breathe, to look at how far they have come. You certainly would not tell them they are not enough.
So why not extend that same compassion inward? The way you speak to yourself matters just as much as the support you offer to others. Practising kinder self-talk takes time, but it is one of the simplest and most powerful ways to rebuild confidence when life feels full.
Try This: The 3C Technique
When everything feels like too much, the 3C Technique can help you cut through the noise and focus on what matters.
Clarify
List everything currently sitting in your mind, then circle only three priorities for the week. These should be the things that genuinely matter, the ones tied to your long-term goals or core values.
Choose
From those three, pick the one that will make the biggest difference or bring you real joy. Protect time for it as you would any key meeting.
Clear
Look at the rest with honesty. What can be delegated, delayed, or dropped altogether? Clearing space is not losing control. It is regaining it.
This simple exercise helps you refocus in minutes, replacing the feeling of being stretched with a sense of direction.
I hope you’ve found these points useful. If you would like to explore this further, our Overcoming Overwhelm Workbook is a reflective tool that helps you recognise early signs of overload, define your red and golden boundaries, and design routines that give you back breathing space.